It all started with a trip I took back in 2020...

...to go visit my family for Christmas in Canada while I was living in Berlin. A one month trip turned into over two years of me being there because I broke my ankle really, really badly (like bone turned to dust kind of thing).

During the first half year of healing I was met with so much resistance from truly every single area of my life. I was experiencing the worst anxiety and depression to the point where I felt completely disconnected from myself and my surroundings. When I realized I couldn’t live like this longer, I sought out various therapeutic methods and journal prompts that I could write about, which allowed me to slowly get back in touch with myself.

I was slowly releasing a lot of baggage, learning how to love and trust myself, and learning how to let go of the things I couldn’t control.

Because my body was using all of its energy to heal my ankle, I was also learning to let go of a lot of frivolous and unhelpful thought patterns, simply because I was too tired for them.

When I went into what I thought would be my last hospital check-up, I somehow — despite not being able to walk properly — was hopeful that the doctors would say I would be on my way back to Berlin (ie. the city that is the love of my life) in no time. When they sent me to a specialist to do more tests on my ankle, I was deeply upset that this seemingly never-ending saga was, well, never-ending. Finally, I signed the papers to have another surgery, where my ankle would be rotated to a better angle and bone would be taken from my hip to replace the bone lost in my ankle.

This time, I anticipated that I would be in Toronto for at least another year waiting for the surgery and the subsequent recovery. I had two options, either dwell in the never-ending uncertainty of my prognosis and be so fixated that my life couldn’t continue until I got back to Berlin, or start taking full agency of my life right then and there.  And by the way, this is no insult to the people around me at the time. I was so lucky to be surrounded by amazing friends and family, but as they say, your life could look great but internally it not feel great at all — and that’s when you know there’s work to do.

This next year I set out to release every single thing that could be holding me back from living the life that I envisioned for myself.  

I wanted to feel free, like I could be myself and do the things I envisioned for myself completely uninhibited by my own personal constraints (mostly imposed by my brain). After practicing various types of therapy and reading a lot of self-help material, I found Simplifying Sam and enrolled for one of her 3-month intensive group caching programs. Her program completely changed my life: she helped me confront some of the most hidden parts of myself that I was ashamed of,  helped me rewire my thoughts so that I no longer blamed other people or external circumstances for my emotions and helped me break through any fears or beliefs that were holding me back from living my life authentically.

Fast-forward many months after the surgery and the coaching program, and I am feeling totally free — like I can accomplish anything I want, and like I can be the person I want to be. Of course, I am very privileged and for that I am extremely grateful, but I also realized throughout this whole process, that we have a lot more control over our lives than we think we do and we are all deserving of doing whatever the heck we wanna do (in good measure) in this life.

I’m now realizing not just how much I love helping the people around me achieve the things they want in life and to feel free in themselves and their relationships..

...but that I’m also now better equipped to do so given my experiences and my learnings. I now wish to connect with and support more people in living fulfilling lives.